The Go Backsies…

The Go Backsies…



Well hello there, my cutie kitties and precious pups, it's Tiger RoxXx, your favorite feline here. As I have watched this year spin by I have also had the joy of seeing you move in and out… and in…and out…of your relationships that is. So I thought it was just about time to discuss that little annoying topic of how to avoid the 'Go Backsies'. You know what I mean! That all too precious safe thing of a relationship that may not be all that safe for our mind, body, and soul. We all have done it; there is no shame in admitting it…but why?



Why after closing that nasty little door behind us do we stray back into the lairs of the once forgotten painful romance that we know is no good for us? Well, the short answer would be selective memory (no that is not just a male aliment). We choose to believe that things can be much different as well as forgetting the reasons that we stopped doing what we did. The long answer… we all want to win. Admit it, it's all about the competition! "Failed relationship", "Lost Love", "breaking up" – these are all terms of winning or losing something. Now, whether we were the initiator of the process or not, we still may feel ourselves wanting to go back. Let's look at it!



Excuse 1 "Maybe it wasn't so bad," When we first leave the ideas and reasons for leaving are fresh in our head. It probably has been a long time coming and the wounds are seeping and oozing. Once they heal, it is much easier to ignore the scars caused by the relationship and we only think of our loneliness. Instead of doing the work we should on ourselves or finding a new love we go back to the familiar.

Excuse 2 "Maybe I didn't try hard enough," This stems from guilt and lack of self love. Instead of building our self esteem we are bending to someone else's will. Do not allow this to happen. We can not go back and change what happened in the relationship by rekindling it.

Excuse 3 "Maybe he/she could change after all," If we love someone we love them for who they are. We should be happy with them from the jump. I know it sound cliché but it is a fact. Love them or leave them- the imperfections and perfections, that means we do not have to think about making compromises - we just do.

Excuse 4 "But I really love them" Check out my article on "Love Sick" it talks about self destructive love behavior. If our love for someone is self destructive then it is not really love. If it were healthy we wouldn't have left. Going back into that situation is bad for everyone involved.

Excuse 5 "We have been together so long" Really? This one cracks me up the most. What I hear is: "I have been miserable for 6 yrs, I can't stop now!" When we are not happy we are not happy, do not go back to try and work it out because we have time invested, that just means we gave it a shot already. Good job, move on.



So if you are playing the game of the 'Go Backsies' then no one is going to win…except maybe the movers. So start fresh with yourself, by yourself, so we can end the year with some amazing adventures! I can think of a few other things that you can go in and out of…no silly, not that… the bars.



Meow Baby,



Tiger RoxXx